Just telling
In Vietnam, there is a very popular type of poem called “Lục Bát”.
It always begins with a 6 syllable line and end with an 8 syllable line
For more information see this Wikipedia article:
Lục bát - Wikipedia
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Title: lava is hot
Submission:
lava is hot
Interpretation text:
lava is hot
4 Likes
Title: Sad Polar Bear Story
Submission:
My land is doomed.
My pals have perished.
Beneath the stars,
Now dull and dimmed.
Water lack ice whites,
Littered with pollution’s plight.
Still can’t blame pollution alone,
As they say you reap what you’ve sown.
No seal to feed cub
Under my skinny blanket i shiver
Farewell to submerged world
Was that all my fault?
Interpretation text: The poem explains the depth of global warming with the point of view of an innocent polar bear in its artic habitat.
Rhyming scheme is used but not followed strictly. The poem is in form of Quatrain verse.
1st Stanza: The word ‘perished’ is here referred to all the polar bear species going into extinction. The word ‘dimmed’ is used to describe the pollution in air.
2nd Stanza: Polar bear describes current situation of ocean. A proverb is used to express a general truth.
3rd Stanza: Describes current health of polar bear. Synecdoche; the word ‘blanket’ is referred to bear’s skin. Polar bear ask us if it was his fault by watching the world sink slowly.
6 Likes
Title: “June”
Submission:
Twenty nine sad days, humming British songs,
Fifteen days, I wait, throughout nights and days,
Through ups and downs, until the special day;
It’s the only chance I’ve waited for long.
Rainy June days, have I done something wrong?
“I want you to know, I love you, always”;
To know that I have always loved your grace,
To know that your warmth is what makes me strong;
Rough and sorrow days, end with my worst fear;
An old friend whom I’ve not wanted to find;
Fourteen sad days, I haven’t got all year;
If you rain again, I will not mind,
If you rain again, my will perseveres
And rainy June days, of her you remind.
Interpretation text:
- Love sonnet, takes place in June, more specifically about how A waits for B to confess his love but it doesn’t go as he wanted it to go because her appearance on that specific day (June 16th) is none.
- Italian sonnet, with the rhyme scheme for octave: ABBA ABBA ; and sestet: CDCDCD.
Line 1 - 4:
- (A) used to listen to British songs along with (B), these kinds of songs remind him of her and help fill in the absence of (B).
- In the first 15 days (even before the first day of June), he believed that (B) would come on her birthday and planned to greet her again on that day.
Line 5:
- “Rainy June days”: They had been making memories together for a while and a lot of those memories were made on rainy days. For it is June, the month with most rain in his place, it becomes his new unwanted yet beloved friend.
- He then asks those rainy days if he has done something bad because if he did, he wouldn’t be able to confess his love to her.
Line 8 - 14:
- (B)'s warmth is what makes (A) strong to go through the first 15 days then just to get disappointed in the end, where she does not show up as one of the possible situations that he has thought of, in other words, his worst fear.
- Then comes another fourteen days where it just rains, he tells those days that he has not got all year to wait for her, he has to act and try to do something to see her himself.
3 Likes
oh my god, just reading though the poems makes my poem looks like the worst one :]
(actually i participated in this contest mostly for fun).
A bit late, but all submissions are now final and no further submissions will be accepted. I will announce winners soon enough.
This topic is now read-only.
Okay, after using the evaluation methods publicly provided on the main post, I have scored everyone and we have a winner!
Congratulations, @Hunyo16, you win this contest and a dragon head event ticket with a score of 92%.
Honorable mention to @Blaireena who was really close to winning with a score of 90%.
Detailed scores for everyone:
Mr_Kieks
Originality - 35%
Quality - 15%
Structure - 4 + 3 + 5 = 12%
Figures of speech - 5%
Score: 67%
Observations: The irony used on the hunt for ender dragons given circumstances was pretty original and the poem’s concept is marked by originality overall. However, even though haikus are shorter poems, I can’t value it more compared to other poems here in terms of quality.
idontkhow93
Originality: 25%
Quality: 20%
Structure: 5 + 4 + 5 = 14%
Figures of speech - 2%
Score: 61%
Observations: Good use of nostalgia as the heart of the poem, pretty good verse structure. Could use some abstraction and verse separation, but not bad at all.
Godfather292
Originality: 40%
Quality: 25%
Structure: 5 + 4 + 8 = 17%
Figures of speech: 6%
Score: 88%
Observations:
I wanted to score quality way above what I scored, and I tried as much as I could to forgive some grammar mistakes I found, but some of them improved poem structure which I unfortunately can’t allow. If you’d like a detailed walk-through of these, please PM me. I absolutely loved the structure, though. The effort you put into organizing the poem properly with the right verse lengths and the rhymes really gave it good rhythm and made it easily likeable.
Homen06 (this is technically invalid but here’s a score for the memes)
Originality: 0%
Quality: 0%
Structure: 5 + 5 + 10 = 20%
Figures of speech: 0%
Score: 20%
Observations: I can only say congratulations for the best structure score out of all poems, since there’s no structure issues I can find at all with one single verse…
Blaireena
Originality: 40%
Quality: 25%
Structure: 5 + 3 + 8 = 15%
Figures of speech: 10%
Score: 90%
Observations: Maximum originality score, nearly maximum quality score. Great use of current problems the world faces put into an animal’s feelings, turning the whole poem into a personification which is a figure of speech on its own. Poetry can be a great way to express criticism when done properly, and you achieved that. The only thing I can point out is some grammar issues, but other than that excellent submission.
Hunyo16
Originality: 40%
Quality: 30%
Structure: 0 + 2 + 10 = 12%
Figures of speech: 10%
Score: 92%
Observations: This poem proves that verse structure isn’t everything, and even with one of the lowest structure scores you can win. That’s exactly the case here. Maximum originality and quality with no noticeable grammar mistakes, amazing wording and very complex writing overall, with a very abstract yet meaningful approach. The use of figures of speech was very opportune, and even with the most irregular structure and long verse lengths you managed to give it rhythm, which gives you maximum rhythm scores. Congratulations, you have the highest score and win this event.
If anyone has questions, please feel free to contact me. Do re-read the main post when it comes to how it works after scores are given.
As for a general approach, I must say that all poems are great submissions (except for Homen’s, sorry), and I respect even more those who don’t have English as first language and still give it a try. English isn’t my first language either and I absolutely love writing, even though it’s not flawless, but even those who have English as their mother tongue make mistakes, just like on anything.
Please stay tuned for more events in the future. This one is now over. Thanks everyone for participating.
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